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Friday, March 19, 2010

Constant

Holes in my brain,
Gaps in my memory
Pain took away.
People came in
Took the pain
I could not take.
Splintered mind
Twisted soul
Ugliness inside.
Ralationships,
Friendships,
Family,
None care for me long.
And I know
Why,
Holes in my brain,
Gaps in my knowledge,
No boundaries,
No help,
No tact,
No one
To break the code
That holds the key
To how to
Change.
Code breaker
Came
And
Went.
What is a friend?
What do we give,
expect,
Long for?
What can I count on,
Who can count on me?
I cannot count on me.
Past
Is what I can count on;
Repetition,
Knowing the same shit
Will happen again,
And again,
Without change.
Instruments
Of torture change.
Faces change.
Pain is constant.
Rejection,
Rejection of me,
Rejection of my behavior,
Rejection of my sensitivities.
I am useless
Wasted skin
Filled with past pain.
And no relief,
No understanding,
Compassion;
Just distrust,
Misjudgment.
Pain,
My constant.
There is no constant
In the Universe
But change
It is said.
But for me the biggest
Constant is rejection
And pain.

03/2010

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