I Know Strong and Weak

I know what strong is
Getting up every day
With pain in your back
Soreness in your heart
Wounds that never seem to heal
And showering
Dressing
Facing the day

I know what strong is
Every day struggling
To make forward progress
Knowing you’ll probably fail
More often than not
Each time you fall
Standing up again
Taking on the challenges
Of every day

I know what strong is
Haunted by your past
Unable to let it go
But yearning to learn
Facing yourself in the mirror
Knowing others see failure
Trying not to let it get to you

I know what strong is
Walking through the pain
Refusing to give up
Staying alive when dead would be easier
Loving people you know won’t love you back
Standing up to abuse
When cowering is what you want to do
Letting yourself cry, or scream, or feel
Instead of building walls
Keeping others out
Or holding it in
Letting it eat you from the inside out

I know what strong is
Not perpetuating violence
Letting it stop with you
Even when hitting
Or throwing things
Would be so easy

I know what strong is
I know what weak is

Living in the past
Feeling each hurt again and again
Letting it eat at you
And spill out on those you love

I know what weak is

There is more strong in me
Than weak
More resistance to failure
Than failure
More drive to get well
Than desire to sit still

I know strong
I know weak
I am both
Not equally
Not happily
I am weak mostly
In the eyes of others
And strong in the mirror

I know what strong and weak are
I know they are in me
I know that few
Ever see
Anything but
Weak.

Revised 3/19/2010